I cannot believe that Christmas is less than two weeks away! It’s insane to me how quickly the holiday season is flying by and I swear that just yesterday it was Halloween. With that being said, there is a lot of discussion online lately about the big guy: Santa Claus. More particularly, there are larger discussions happening in parenting circles online about the ethics of Santa Claus, wealth inequality, gift inequality, etc.
I recently saw a Tik Tok by a young woman saying that her Roman Empire (IYKYK) is on how some teenagers will get whatever they want for Christmas while others receive close to nothing. I stitched the video and took it one step further and brought in Santa.
While I do think it’s heartbreaking to see any kid in emotional pain, whether they be six or sixteen, for some reason I feel worse for the six year old who gets next to nothing for Christmas while his or her peers get seemingly everything. This isn’t a comment on anyone’s parenting or money situation, either. Some families are better off money-wise than others. Sadly, wealth inequality is a real issue in our country right now and one millions of families face.
However, the teenager, although in pain, can eventually rationalize their family’s money situation. I’m not meaning to invalidate the teenager’s feelings or pain, etc. (Being sixteen is very hard.) I am just making a note on their developing emotional intelligence and maturation. The six year old, on the other hand, is left wondering why Santa Claus brought little Jimmy in class a dirt bike and he only received socks or underwear or some other necessity. The six year old, unlike the teenager, is less capable of rationalizing this sort of thing.
Why would Santa Claus favor one child over another? Does Santa Claus love little Jimmy more? Does Santa Claus even care? These are hard questions for a little kid to wrap their mind around. I know many parents who are abandoning the whole Santa Claus thing in general. In addition to explaining gift inequality to kids, they find an ethical problem in lying to their children about a guy in a red suit who sees you when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake.
In our family, we do still believe and really lean into the philosophy of “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.” Not only are we practicing Catholics who believe in the Communion of Saints and how they actively work in our lives (we’ll save that theological conversation for another time), but we also believe in the spirit of charity and giving. Plus, we do like the tradition of the holiday.
However, we also acknowledge some issues surrounding Santa Claus. Before we even got married, my husband and I discussed this very topic and promised that if we ever had a family together we’d abide by two main “rules” regarding Santa Claus and Christmas. So, without further ado, here are our two parenting tips rules on Santa Claus:
1. Mom and Dad Bring the “Big” Gifts
No, Santa isn’t the one bringing the big-ticket items down our chimney on Christmas Eve. If there are larger presents, they come from my husband and I. Santa is given credit for smaller items like puzzles or books, or necessities like clothes. I know many families that only give Santa credit for stocking stuffers, which I think is a great idea, too.
We do this to avoid all the confusion around why some kids get bigger or more expensive gifts from Santa while others do not. Plus, I think this is a good compromise to keep the spirit of Santa alive for our kids while allowing them to still appreciate what we, as parents, also gave.
2. We Do Not Share Pictures of Christmas Morning on Social Media
Now, I know this is a controversial topic and I really don’t want to offend anyone but I stand firm on this rule.
Frankly, I find it boastful and unnecessary to post pictures of present piles online. I’ve written about this subject in the past and find the whole “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality very unhealthy. And yes, I really do think that posting pictures of your kid’s presents online is for other parents that are online.
At the Same Time, You Do You
These are my family’s rules about Christmas morning and Santa Claus. I am a firm believer that everyone is entitled to practice their own parenting style. Have at it! Only you know what’s best for you and your family. I do not say this sarcastically, either.
The main reason I decided to write this post is because the Tik Tok I made about it kind of blew up and I thought that maybe other parents were looking for advice on the subject. I am also not claiming that my advice is necessarily the right answer, either. It’s just something that works in our family.
How do you handle Santa Claus? I would love to hear!
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